Sometimes I wish there was a guidebook and map when it comes to understanding men in relationships. As they try and try to understand us women in relationships, we struggle to understand how they work and what they are thinking. Although we’ll never truly understand what’s going on in their heads, we can try and grasp a few basic rules of how we can better get inside their heads and figure them out.
Firstly, guys do not function like us when it comes to their emotions. Their heads rule, not their hearts. This is why 99% of the time they don’t have too many emotional outbursts in arguments. Your guy is often cool headed and logical when it comes to understanding how things work, while you may get emotional and feel mad about something. With two conflicting responses it’s common to butt heads. Once you figure out that this is how you are both wired, it’s much easier to understand and maintain a healthy balance in your relationship together. Once you get the balance of head and heart figured out you’ll find that your communication becomes much better.
Guys don’t multitask. Yup, I said it. If you ask your guy to fold laundry and write down a shopping list at the same time, only one thing will get done. True fact. It’s easy to get mad over this, but as I said before guys are wired different to us. I wanted to really reiterate this because I feel it’s often overlooked within the relationship and is a cause of a lot of conflict and unnecessary stress. If you can accept that your guy’s brain functions different to ours, and that he really is trying to please us because he loves us, then you will undoubtedly find that things will become easier between the two of you.
Really take an interest in your guy’s tastes and preferences and you’ll find that communication becomes a cinch. Understanding what makes your man tick is key to a long lasting relationship. You must be a listening ear as well as a chatty Cathy. It’s great to ask questions but you have to learn to shut your mouth and listen to what he has to say. Although he may not be as emotionally expressive as you, he has feelings too, and you are expected to nurture them and be respectful. Remember, a relationship is about two people, not one.
If you really want to understand your guy, let him have his freedom to do what he wants. That is understanding and trust at it’s finest. Control over the entire relationship by you will mean he will essentially shut down and not trust you at all. Let him be himself and everything will fall into place. Likewise don’t try to be attached at his hip. To understand each other you must each show an independence from each other.
The last point I want to bring up about understanding your man in a relationship is to always keep open the lines of communication between each other. This is essential and should never be discounted.